Super Gigi Saves the Day (well week really)!

So it is Wednesday and this week has been wonderful. My mom (for those of you that don't know her personally, she is the best mom/gigi/person in the whole world) is here for the week to help out. She has been a life saver. She is able to handle Will like a champ. It is a win-win situation for all involved because she gets to spend precious time with her grandson and it frees me up a little to get some things done around the house. The laundry is finally caught up, the sheets on the bed are changed, and it doesn't look like World War 3 in my house.

Another plus is that we have been able to get out of the house. Will loves to ride in his wheel chair and we visited Target, Publix, and Super Suppers yesterday. Daddy also took us out to dinner at Chuy's last night. So, we haven't been stuck at the house all week like we were last week and it makes a difference in us all.

As difficult as this whole situation is, I have been forced to slow down and really spend quality time with my son. I am anxious for the cast to come off, but I don't want to wish these days away because we can never have them back. We are on the last few weeks as a family of 3 and then our lives change dramatically. I am trying to remind myself that you have to cherish even the hardest times because time is fleeting and precious and once it is gone, it is gone.

I am currently sitting here typing this while watching my mom and Will paint while watching Cars. He is having such a good time explaining what he is painting and learning to rinse the brush before getting another color. He really is learning a lot of new things because we are trying a lot of activities we would normally not do. We are usually on the go all of the time doing playdates, going to school, or running errands, so we don't get a lot of at home time just to paint, play, etc... I think that will change after this experience because he needs this time with mommy.

Week 1 in the Cast

Well, I had the best intentions to blog daily, but that went by the wayside pretty quickly. It is just going to be impossible with everything going on, so I have decided I will do at least weekly and if I have a minute here or there, I will post one mid week or so.

We have been in the cast a week now. It has been a learning experience, but now that we are in a routine it is not too bad. The first few days at home were tough at times. Will was still in pain and on pain medicine so he was definitely not himself. Loratab does not put him to sleep, it makes him silly. He was talking like crazy and just plain cuckoo. The valium made him sleepy, but those of you that know Will knows how well he fights sleep. Soooo he ended up just being kind of cranky unless we could get him in the swing or get him to sleep without him realizing what we were doing.

We had both sets of of grandparents here over the weekend to help so that helped out ALOT. Will spent a good bit of time in the swing and went on several wagon rides. On Monday, we recieved a reclining wheel chair and that has been a lifesaver. We go on daily walks, sometimes 2, we have been able to get out and about.





We acutally got out and about some as well. On Thursday we went back to the orthopedist. Will got to try out the new harness and loved riding laying down in the back seat. The doctor visit went really well too. The xrays looked great (better than usual) and so we were told we could come back in 4 weeks rather than 5. We go back on May 5th and if things look good, the cast may come off. This would be wonderful because that means we would have 2 weeks before the baby is due rather than only 1. We are praying hard that this is the case.

On Friday, Daddy took us out to lunch at Boscos. We sat on the patio at Boscos and enjoyed our lunch in the sun. It was so nice to get out of the house and do something "normal" for the first time in a couple of weeks.

The only strange/scary thing that happened this week was on Wednesday. Will called me to come and get him up out of bed. I walked into his room and he was nowhere to be seen. I panicked for a minute then realized that he had just called out so he had to be in here. That is when I saw his little casted foot sticking out from under the footboard. His bed is about a foot and a half away from the wall on one side in his room. Somehow he got himself in the floor, landed on pillows, turned to his back and then scooted down as far as he could go. It is pretty amazing he was able to do this. Needless to say, we now have some new bedrails in place. 

He has recieved some very sweet care packages. The first to arrive was from our dear friend Jonathan and Paula Bell. Will calls them "Aunt and Uncle Brother Bell." They sent him and AquaDoodle,  a new Thomas computer game, 2 coloring books, and a sticker book. It was a big hit and Will thinks it is super cool to write with water.  

Will is still doing great. Our only issue is sleep. He is not sleeping well at all. He is not in pain anymore, but he just cannot get comfortable. He is used to cuddling up with his "Cuddle, Quacky, and Ralphy," but he can't because of the cast. He has to sleep on his back propped with pillows. I cannot imagine how uncomfortable he must be. We are making it, though.

Now we are down to 4 weeks (hopefully) left in the cast. Having a child in a cast like this is kind of like having a newborn. You are so careful the first few days, then you realize that it isn't going to break. We are getting the hang of moving him around, bath time, bathroom routines, etc... so it is getting easier. His Daddy can cart him around like it is nothing.

Just Plain Lucky

     So when I had Will, I was terrified of all of the responsibilities I would be taking on. I wanted to be a mom more than anything, but at the same time I was scared out of my wits.

     I can remember the first night home from the hospital. My mom, memaw, me, and Daniel were all trying our best to get Will to stop crying. He had awful gas when he was a baby and he made good use of his lungs that night. I remember thinking, "What in the world have Daniel and I gotten ourselves into?!?!?!"  Finally, it came to a head and I was crying as well because I felt like a failure as a mother. I mean, what kind of mother couldn't soothe her child. Well, come to find out, an exhausted, sore, overwhelmed, emotional mother couldn't soothe herself, much less a 4 day old baby.

     My wonderful hubby took the reigns and sent me to bed, no questions. He lovingly said, " Amy, you are not making this any better by crying and being emotional. You are tired and need rest. Go to sleep and when it is time for him to eat, we will come and wake you up." Well, we made it through that night and we have made it through many similar nights since.

    Since then, I have to say I have been just plain lucky. I have heard horror stories about having to do things such as ween the bottle, take away the pacifier, move to a big boy bed, and potty training. I can honestly say that these have all be so easy for Will. I don't know if he is just an independent little booger who wants to grow up so badly that he does whatever it takes to make him feel older, or if it is me and the way I have handled these things (thanks to some wonderful advice from some of the best mommies I know). I would like to think it is the latter, but I guess we will not know until #2 comes along and I get to do it all again. Either way, I am just plain lucky or better yet, I am just plain blessed.

Dilemmas

I really have a dilemma that I think about constantly. I love being a stay at home mom. I get to watch my little boy grow and learn new things everyday, I have a couple "off" days while he is at mother's day out to get some housework done, and I get to spend beautiful days outside playing.  However, I have a huge complex about not contributing to the household in the form of a paycheck.

I know there are women out there who long to be in my position and would slap me if they could, but let me explain my why I feel this way. First of all, my mom always worked. I never had a mom that stayed at home and I think that is part of the reason I feel this way. She always worked and brought in a paycheck because she had to in order for my sister and I to have things we wanted and not just needed. When I was little I loved to dress up in her work clothes and heels and I always thought it was cool to go and visit her at her office. I guess these are some of the reasons it seems natural to me that I should have a job.

Another reason I struggle is because I always feel I am spending my hubby's hard earned money. He constantly assures me that it is our money regardless of where it comes from, but I just cannot seem to get that into my belief system. He praises my ability to keep our house in clean and smooth running order, but, in my opinion, that is something I did prior to kids so why would I not do it now (job or no job)? When I go to purchase something, I automatically question myself multiple times because I don't want to throw away money that I watch my husband bust his tail to earn. I guess I think if I worked I wouldn't feel such guilt.

I also feel, at times, that I have no goals or purpose. I am just here...cleaning the house, washing the laundry, changing dirty diapers, cooking dinner, etc, etc, etc.... I know this is only me being super tough on myself, but that little devil is still perched on my shoulder saying, "You know you could be doing something more....."

I am just going to hold tight to that old saying, "The grass is not always greener on the other side." I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I went back to work now, I would kick myself. I would long for the days when I was a stay at home mom and I would ache for those precious moments with my son. I would loathe having to get dressed up everyday, despise having to rush in the mornings, be upset by missing Will's MDO activities, and I would constantly wish the weekends were longer. Oh, and let me not forget to mention how much I would miss all of my other stay at home mom buddies.

So all in all, I guess I can just suck it up and know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing during this brief season of my life.